Sunday, June 30, 2013

When Your Husband Won't Pick Up After Himself (Make It A Battle Or A Blessing)


Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). 

My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing?  It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, link up and don't forget to give a link back to this post!  Thanks!


Topics can include marriage, parenting, encouraging women, organization, cleaning, saving money, our behavior and attitudes, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes....the opportunities are endless.


Note:  We had 112 linkups last week which is awesome!  Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today!  :)



Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Does your husband have an annoying habit?  Does he leave things lying around the house?  Do you beg him, over and over, to pick up after himself?  Is it falling on deaf ears?  What can we do about it?

Why can't we get our husbands to do what we want them to do?  After all, it's not our responsibility to train our husbands. Why should WE have to pick up the socks of a grown man?  It's not fair!

Why should we have to load his dishes into the dishwasher when we can just keep bugging him to do it?  Why should we have to live with his pigsty of a home office when, if we nag him long enough, he might actually clean it up?

Why can't he just keep the garage clean??????  After all, WE can keep the kitchen clean and we use it a lot more often than he uses that messy garage.  Why can't he just "grow up?"

We never want to forget that our husbands do NOT need to obey us, they are not our children and should not be treated as such.

If I am a wife whose husband leaves his socks lying around, I have two choices.  I can pick them up, or I can leave them there.

I can choose to be happy or I can dwell on the fact that I have asked him over and over to do something about them.  I can choose a happy marriage and choose to ignore those socks, or I can continue to nag at him.

I can choose to be miserable and ruin our evening by having a knock down drag out fight, yet again, about his "refusal" to pick up those socks.  Or I can choose to say nothing, pick up the socks for him and enjoy my evening with my hubby.

So can you.  Of course, you can also choose ( and in my opinion really SHOULD choose), at some point, to tell hubby how important it is to you that he picks up those socks daily.  But, you've probably already told him about it.  Over and over.


But if he doesn't do ityou can make it a battle or a blessing .  



Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Some things just aren't worth fighting over and bringing tension to a marriage.


You can make it a battle and fight with him and nag him and refuse to speak with him until he does it, or you can make it a blessing and pick it up for him, and PRAY for him and his needs while you do it.  You can turn it into an opportunity to bless him or curse him.  It's your choice.

It seems reasonable to have the expectation that your husband would pick up after himself.  He's a big boy, right?  I mean, it's not like he changed diapers, chased toddlers, wiped noses or did laundry all day.  He got to leave the house and hang out with grownups all day, that's almost like "play time," right?

He ought to be able to pick up those socks, put away the newspaper, throw away the dental floss, load his own dishes into the dishwasher, right?

When he DOESN'T do it, it can be frustrating.  It can feel like he doesn't care about your home.  He doesn't care about YOU.

He doesn't care about what's important to you.  If he did, he'd do what you asked, right?  He doesn't care that you've worked hard all day.  He's doing it on purpose just to annoy you because he KNOWS that it does.  If he really loved you, he would do it, right?

Is that what it feels like to you sometimes?  Like hubby just gets to "play" all day at work?  Like he doesn't love you enough to pick up his socks?

Is it possible that it's just not as big an issue to him as it is to you?  Is it possible he has good intentions but then forgets because he hasn't developed the good habits that YOU have?


Did you ever think that maybe it has nothing to do with love and everything to do with self-discipline and poor organizational habits?


Did you ever think that maybe, he keeps forgetting because he doesn't see is as a problem so he's not seeking a solution?

My husband and I used to fight over the fact that he did not keep his home study as clean as I felt it should be.  I wanted it as clean as the rest of the house.

I felt that his office was a reflection of ME.  I saw it as a place of order, organization, and a tribute to my ability to manage my home effectively.  My husband saw it as a place where he paid bills and occasionally worked from home.

I wanted his home office clean, orderly and organized and I wanted it to STAY that way.  My husband just wanted to be able to have his papers on the desk where he could SEE them, as he is a very visual person that way.  Out of sight is out of mind with him.  If he can SEE it, he can do it.  If he doesn't see it, he will forget. So he likes to leave things out as a reminder.

So at LEAST once a month we would argue about his messy study, with me trying to impress upon him my desire to have it clean so that we could leave the door open when guests were over.  My husband would try to say that it was o.k. to have ONE messy room in the house, it wasn't hurting anything.  Everything didn't have to be perfect.  I didn't agree.

It became a big issue with me and one in which I had to take it to the Lord in prayer quite often, as my frustration would spill over into anger and nagging and resentment toward my husband.

When I let it go, I let go of the annoyance and anger that steals my peace.

I let go of the issue that steals my joy and causes me to focus on the annoyance instead of on my marriage.  


I let go of the mountain that I had made out of a molehill.

Is it possible that you have your own annoying habits that you forget about?  Absolutely! (At least, I know that I do) ;)

Should your husband pick up his socks?  Absolutely, in MY mind.  Is it worth making a battle out of it and causing undue stress on your marriage?  Absolutely not, in my mind.

You can't change your husband.  But you can change you.  GOD can change you.  

You can't MAKE him pick up his socks.  But you can choose to ignore it and hope that they find their way into the laundry "magically" by themselves. Or you can pick them up FOR him and see it as an act of love and service.

The choices is yours.  The battle is yours.  Who are you fighting against?  Your husband or your own desires?

Is it fair?  No, maybe not, but does that really matter?  Life is not fair, so let's stop keeping score.  What matters is that sometimes we have to compromise in marriage. Sometimes you compromise, and sometimes he does.  What matters is the marriage, not who picks up the socks.

When we serve our families, we are serving the Lord.  If you are struggling with your feelings about your husband this morning and can't quite get yourself to do anything for him, can you do it for the Lord?  Can you take your feelings in prayer to the Lord, and ask Him to change YOUR heart?

What act of service can you do for your husband today to make your home sing?

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post so that others can join the fun! 

If you don't want to miss any blogs posts, you can subscribe
by 
RSS, Bloglovin, Feedly
Facebook or Email 

I'd love to connect with you!



I am linking up to these linky parties:


TheBetterMom.comWhat Joy Is MinePhotobucketHappy Wives ClubLiving Proverbs 31i should be mopping the floor photo e70fb310-7eb7-4908-bb0e-cac50857a9bb.jpg
The Alabaster JarThe Life Of Faith photo NEWRIButton275x150_zpsf908716b.jpg Teaching What Is Good125 Titus 2 Tuesday Button Growing HomeCourtship Connection  Messy MarriageDucks 'n a RowFamily Home and Lifehttp://www.wildernesswife.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Wicked-Good-Wednesday-Blog-Hop-Button.jpgWise-Woman-Builds   All Things with Purposekatherines corner PhotobucketMissional Womenhttp://christianmommyblogger.comHappyandBlessedHome.com Please save image and put it in your post or on your sidebar.   Also, We Are That Family 

Friday, June 28, 2013

The Day After


Just wanted to pop in and say that I had a lovely time at the  Disney Social Media Mom event that I blogged about yesterday.  I hope you enjoyed my tweets about it!

It was fun and I was so tired when I got home that I fell asleep on the couch, lol!

It was awesome and encouraging to listen to the speakers and so much fun meeting other bloggers.  I will do a post about it sometime next week once I have had some time to upload the pictures and put a post together!

But until I get to it I will leave you with this......


You're welcome!!!  Have an awesome day and dream of chocolate!

If you don't want to miss any blogs posts, you can subscribe
by 
RSS, Bloglovin, Feedly
Facebook or Email 

I'd love to connect with you!

Be sure and come back Monday and link up to the Making Your Home Sing Monday  linky party!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Disney Social Media Moms And The Night I Wore My Best Friend's Shirt Backward


So the other night I was trying to decide what I was going to wear to an event coming up.  I totally understand how a woman can look into her closet and declare she has nothing to wear.  I mean, what's the fun in wearing something I've already worn a million times before?


So I did what every woman does when faced with something like this.  I raided my best friend's closet.


This is the event.  Isn't it made of awesome?

Y'all know I love me some Disney. Our family has been to Disney World six times and Disneyland four times, but who's counting?  ;)  My husband and I even went to Disney World on our honeymoon!

In fact, we just returned from Disneyland last December!  We save up our money so that we can go about every two to four years.  Although recently we went to Disney World in 2011 and Disneyland in 2012, but back-to-back trips are unusual for us.

We've gone with just our family and we've gone together with other families.  Either way it's a blast.


We love it, obviously.

Well, I was blessed to be invited to be a Disney Social Media Mom, which means I get to attend Disney's Social Media Mom's Celebration conference in Seattle!  Road trip!  Can you say hoo to the woohoohoo?!!!!!

The original DSMM Celebration is one of the most coveted blogger events and Disney is taking it on the road and I am excited to hear the speakers and network with other media/blogger moms.

I've managed to connect with many of the other DSMmoms on twitter and facebook and some of us are flying in and some of us are driving in and some live in WA and some in other states. But we're all coming together for a little Disney Magic.  In the famous words of Rebecca Black, we so excited!

Back to my best friend's closet.  Seriously, you should SEE her closet!!!!!  Girl, she has shoes and jewelry to die for.

So I am madly pulling on clothes and pulling off clothes and my friend is saying "Here try this" and "Here try that" and throwing clothes at me.  Literally, clothes are flying everywhere.

At one point I pulled a shirt on over my head and said "Hey, this is cute!"  My friend looked at me and said "You're wearing it backward."  Who knew?  Hey, don't bother me with details. I am a mom on a Mickey mission.

Then I struggled to get into a dress and my friend said "You would find it much easier to do if you'd stop trying to put your arm through the side zipper and put it through the armhole where it belongs."  Seriously, some people are sooooooo picky.

Oh, and I managed to try another shirt on inside out.  I realized it when I noticed that the label was in the front.  So obviously I tried that one on backward too.

Seriously, why don't these clothes come with directions?  And maybe even a GPS?

And shoes.  I need cute shoes and my friend has some darling ones, but her shoes are a size bigger than mine.  I wonder if it's possible to grow your toes longer over night? I bet I can goggle it.

Who prepares for a Disney event by raiding their best friend's closet?  This girl.

I will probably be the only person there wearing her best friend's clothes.  Somehow I think that Mickey would be proud though.  He's kind of a frugal mouse himself.  After all, he pretty much wears the same clothes every day and you don't hear him complaining about it!  So he's a better man (or mouse) than me!

This conference will be made of awesome because it's Disney, duh!!!!

So I will be tweeting about it which may or may not be scary because my texting and tweeting skills are legendary (and also non-existent) and one time I butt-dialed 911.

But I'll give it my best shot.  Or rather my best tweet.  So if you're going to this look me up, I won't be hard to spot.  Just look for a gal whose shirt is on backward and her shoes are too big.  That will probably be me.......

(And in case you're wondering, no one has paid me or asked me to mention Disney to you! It has been my pleasure!)

If you don't want to miss any blogs posts, you can subscribe
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Facebook or Email 

I'd love to connect with you!

Be sure and come back Monday and link up to the Making Your Home Sing Monday  linky party!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

10 Ways To Avoid Getting Sidetracked While You're Cleaning & MYHSM Linky Party


Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). 

My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing?  It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, link up and don't forget to give a link back to this post!  Thanks!


Topics can include marriage, parenting, encouraging women, organization, cleaning, saving money, our behavior and attitudes, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes....the opportunities are endless.


Note:  We had 98 linkups last week which is awesome!  Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today!  :)

Have you ever started cleaning your living room and the next thing you know you are in the bedroom cleaning out your sock drawer?  Have you ever needed to get your house cleaned for company and yet you constantly find yourself distracted by other things and now you're panicking?

Do you find that cleaning takes twice as long as you think it should?  Do you get easily distracted by other things when you know you should be cleaning?

You're not alone.  I can be extremely focused when I want to be.  But can also be easily distracted with something that seems more "fun."  So I walk a fine line!  ;)

I am one of those....."SQUIRREL!!!!".....people who will often find myself doing one thing when I planned on doing something else.  It's not that my priorities have changed, it's just that sometimes I.....look, a chicken!!!!.......allow myself to be sidetracked from my own goals when I am trying to clean.

Pretty soon I've got a whole bunch of little projects started with nothing getting finished and my house reflects it.  Or I will micromanage one small area of cleaning and ignore the huge glaring mess that's staring me right in the face. Sound familiar?

Do you have lots of little cleaning projects started but nothing finished?  Do you have company coming over and are you afraid that you won't get your cleaning done for fear of being sidetracked?  Here are some ideas:


1.  Make a list of the things you need to do, starting with the most important and on down to the least important.  This will please those of you who love to feel like you're in control and please those who want instant gratification, because you can cross the items off your list as you go.  It will also help those of us who are easily sidetracked to stay focused.  Having the important things at the top of the list will increase your changes of getting those done first.

2.  Be reasonable with your lists.  Having a to-do list with 75 things to do on it that day is too overwhelming.  Keep it simple.  You don't have to do everything or CLEAN everything today.

3. Keep all your cleaning supplies handy in a bucket or a tote.  That way you can carry them with you as you clean and you won't need to leave the room to get anything, thereby decreasing your chances of getting distracted.

4.  In order to avoid getting sidetracked, stay in the room that you're cleaning.  Keep a laundry basket nearby to deposit everything that doesn't belong in the room.  Just set things in the basket for now and stay where you are.

If you leave the room NOW you are likely to get sidetracked and find yourself alphabetizing your dvd collection in the family room (which is NOT on your list), when you really should be vacuuming the living room (which IS on your list).  Just set out of place items in the basket for now, you can put everything away later.

5.  Focus on the majors, not the minors.  If you are having people over, only clean what people are going to see.  Don't worry about what they can't see.  Now is NOT the time to clean inside the cupboards or drawers.  If people see that your floors and surfaces are neat and clutter free, most people are just going to assume that your cupboards and drawers are orderly too.

6  Reward yourself.  For every 45 minutes of work, take a 15 minute break.  Just make sure to set that timer so that after your 15 minutes of fun is over you get back to cleaning!

If you're only cleaning for a short time today, promise yourself a treat when you're done!  Whether the treat is chocolate, a quick stop on facebook, or reading a chapter in your favorite book.

7.  Put a temporary ban on all your electronics.  Don't answer the phone, let it go to voice mail.  Stay off the computer as well.  Save that for your 15 minutes of fun.  Unless you're cleaning the Lazy Mom way, then t.v. watching is o.k depending on what you're doing, as long as you keep cleaning!

8.  Keep a perspective.  If you're having company over, you want people to be able to have a place to sit, so clear off the furniture.  You want them to be able to walk safely, so remove the toys out of their path.  You want them to be able to use the bathroom without fearing that it should be condemned, so give the bathroom a quick swipe.


This is what's important right now.  Not folding your laundry, you can do that later, so put it somewhere out of sight.  Not reorganizing the books in your bookshelves.  Not reorganizing or rotating the food in your pantry.  You're getting ready for company, not an inspection.

9.  Know when good enough is good enough.  Remember that they are coming over for YOU, not your home.   You're not going to get to everything.  There will probably still be cobwebs hanging from the ceiling or the lamp that you forgot to dust.  It's o.k.  It doesn't have to be perfect.

10.  Know when to stop.  You don't want to be all stressed out and exhausted by the time your company comes.  You want to be able to enjoy them.  Set a timer for 15 minutes and just relax, if possible, before they come.  30 minutes would be even better!  Try this and make your home sing!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post so that others can join the fun! 

If you don't want to miss any blogs posts, you can subscribe
by 
RSS, Bloglovin, Feedly
Facebook or Email 

I'd love to connect with you!



I am linking up to these parties:


TheBetterMom.comWhat Joy Is MinePhotobucketHappy Wives ClubLiving Proverbs 31i should be mopping the floor photo e70fb310-7eb7-4908-bb0e-cac50857a9bb.jpg
The Alabaster JarThe Life Of Faith photo NEWRIButton275x150_zpsf908716b.jpg
Teaching What Is Good125 Titus 2 Tuesday Button Growing HomeCourtship Connection  Messy MarriageDucks 'n a RowFamily Home and Lifehttp://www.wildernesswife.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Wicked-Good-Wednesday-Blog-Hop-Button.jpgWise-Woman-Builds  All Things with Purposekatherines corner PhotobucketMissional Womenhttp://christianmommyblogger.comHappyandBlessedHome.com Please save image and put it in your post or on your sidebar. Also, We Are That Family and A Bowl Full Of Lemons