Sunday, January 31, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY: LOSING "YOU"

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

I have not arrived yet. Sigh. It's always sad when this MYHSM meme rolls around, and I realize that once again I have lots of material to work with. It always seems like there is just so much to pick from that needs doing. Sigh.

There is always something that I can do to make my home sing for that week. There is always something that I can improve on, or a character trait that could be strengthened, or some beauty within my home that can be highlighted somewhere. I have miles to go before I "arrive."

Now, for those weeks that you are discouraged, cheer up! You have not arrived yet. You have lots of material to work with. There is always something you can do to make your home sing. Something to improve on, a character trait that can be strengthened or beauty highlighted somewhere. There is always something that you can do. There is time. You have miles to go before you "arrive."

It's so strange how we can get down on ourselves for the very things that we should celebrate. The very things that can overwhelm us should encourage us.

We are not lacking in ways to bless our families. We are not lacking in areas that need our special touch.

Who better to make a home for your family? Who better to mother your child? Who better to love and respect your husband?

Who takes your place in the home? What is your home missing? You?

Sometimes we forget to put the "me" into our homes. We forget to put a little of our personality into it. We forget to put a little of our beauty into it.

There are full-time homemakers who are busier now than they were when they worked outside the home. There are wives who give so much of themselves to their children that there is virtually very little left for their husbands. There are mothers who feel like they have lost a part of themselves now that they are mothers.

Have you lost "you?" Do you feel like you have lost a piece of yourself that you will never get back? If you lost your husband and your children today, would you even know who you are? Would you know what your role or purpose was in this world?

Where is your identity? Do you know who you are?

Never forget your identity in Christ. You are God's child. You are a beautiful woman of God. Your value, your self-worth is in Him, not in what you do, not in what role you fill. When roles change, your identity will still be rooted in Him.

That is why you can bring beauty into your home, and give of yourself to your family and your children without fearing that you are "losing" yourself. You cannot be lost, just keep your roots in Him. You can have days where you may feel overwhelmed or tired, or like you don't feel like "yourself," and those are the days that you need to get into His word and cling to Him.

But don't ever fear that "you" will disappear. You can never disappear for you are safe in His hands! He loves you and He created you. You are beautifully loved.

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

Friday, January 29, 2010

PLACE THE BLAME ON LAME

Hello! Hello! Is anybody out there?

*blows on computer* Is this thing on?

I usually set my posts to print at midnight. That's because I live in the NW and some of you are two to three hours ahead, and some of you are even eight hours ahead or so.

So posting something at noon or the late afternoon just feels like the deadzone. Y'all are going on with your day and busy. Not to mention it's Friday. Is blogland dead on Friday? Where does everybody go?

The sad thing is that I have nothing important to say. I know. You are wasting your breath, or your eyeballs to read this. Sorry. Just like to hear myself type.

Hey, I got my fake nails removed! I can type now! My fingernails look ugly again though....sad. But my hands have never been happier.

So I went to the thrift store today and I know that y'all won't be able to sleep tonight unless you see photos of what I bought!


This hoodie is brand new, never been worn, and still has the original Disneyland price and size stickers on it.

Here is the back view, obviously.

Bought myself some boots just in case we get some serious snow this year. This pillow is also a thrift store find.


Also bought the Rooster and his wife, a ceramic bowl on a pedestal and a bread basket.

There, that was Thrift Store shopping 101. You never know what you'll find there. When is no post better than a lame post? Probably on days like today when I got nothing to say but I'm saying it anyway!

O.k., before I bore you into never coming here again let me just say have an awesome weekend!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I GOTTA SECRET........

Haha, made you look! I don't really have a secret. I just wanted to see how many of you would click over here just to see what the secret was.

What is it with secrets? Why does knowing that someone has a secret makes you want to find out what it is? Why is it that I think someone is going to have a baby every time they say they have a secret?

Well, unless it's my mother, of course. I don't automatically think that she is going to have a baby. But then, somebody is having a baby every time she says that. It's just that it's not her. Or me.

Well, and men. Men don't usually say "I got a secret! I got a secret!" Why is that?

I think it starts in childhood. The boy-man already feels his male superiority and so doesn't have the desire to hold it over us by taunting "I got a secret!" I also think that the boy-man just really isn't curious.

He just wants to tear things apart and see how they work. Is that curiosity? Naaaah, that's just a desire to break something. Don't let 'em fool ya. It's a desire to break something with no desire to put it back together again.

I can prove it. When we were kids, my brother took my bicycle apart and never put it back together again. I'm still bitter.

I cry my eyes out every time I think of that poor bicycle who was now doomed to go through life seatless and wheelless and chainless. You just know it never got invited to sit at the "cool" table with all the other bikes at lunch.

Segue here.......doesn't the phrase "cry my eyes out" give you a weird verbal picture? I mean think about it, isn't it kind of gross just imagining what that would look like? You're welcome. I'm just sayin'.....

Now back to my secret that's not a secret. Take a roomful of people. Have a man say "I got a secret, want to know what it is?" The other men will look at him with as much interest as if he said "I have lint in my belly button, want to see it?"

Now, have a woman say "I got a secret, what to know what it is?" Before the last words are out of her mouth she will be tackled by several eager women, dying to know the answer.

Women are social creatures, why do you think we all go to the bathroom together?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: EVEN WHEN YOU FAIL

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

I am sorely lacking in discipline this week. Do you know that I actually overslept and missed church this morning? The alarm went off and I guess I thought it was Saturday, and I ignored it and rolled over and went back to sleep.

I came in really late, and I mean really late as my husband was already done preaching and they were singing the last few songs. Let me tell you, it's real hard for the pastor's wife to sneak in late, lol! Especially since I told everyone that I overslept when they came up and asked "Where were you?" Most of them thought I was sick or serving in the nursery.

Can you poke fun at yourself? Can you laugh when you mess up? Do you take everything so seriously that it stresses you out and greatly upsets you when you realize you don't have it "together" as much as you hoped you did?

You know, sometimes you and I are just going to mess up. Sometimes we are going to forget to make a phone call, or forget to show up for something.

Sometimes we are going to spend waaaay to much time visiting people's blogs on the computer, or leaving comments, and suddenly it's dinnertime and the laundry still needs doing, and we realize we were on the computer to much that day.

Sometimes we are going to say something we regret, or repeat something that we shouldn't have. Sometimes we are going to eat a cupcake that we should have left alone. Sometime we are going to have a "mad" face or say a cross word to our children that we wished we could take back.

Sometimes we just need to stop and laugh at ourselves when we make a mistake. Sometimes we need to stop and take a breath, and admit the times that we were wrong. Sometimes we need to stop and ask people for forgiveness when we know we need to.

Sometimes we need to stop things before they start. Sometimes we need to set a timer, so that we don't get distracted by the t.v. or the computer. We need to schedule our quiet time with the Lord into our day, so that our day is built around it, instead of trying to squeeze it into our already full day.

Sometimes we have to bow to the absurd. Really crazy things are going to happen sometimes. They just are. And you can choose to laugh or you can choose to cry.

Many times we can be overly hard on ourselves because we didn't live up to our own expectations. Maybe we had big plans for our day, or our week, and we wound up giving in to our weaker nature and didn't have the discipline to do what we wanted to do, or avoid what we wanted to avoid.

God's plan for us includes out abilities and disabilities. He always knows what we are capable of doing or handling. We can trust Him in every situation that comes up, because He is faithful.

So this week, I can make my home sing by accepting that I'm not perfect, and that I need the Lord to help me work on the many areas that I'd like to see improvement in (starting with the discipline to go to bed and to get up on time, lol!)

Or, I can just say I am a failure and that I can't do it, and I can just give up and never try to be any different than I am now. Children would never learn to walk if they gave up every time they fell.

I choose to believe that I can be different. I choose to believe that there are times that I should maybe laugh at my weaknesses and failures, instead of beating myself up over them.

I choose to believe that I need to pick myself up and start moving again instead of being overtaken by my failures. I choose to believe that the Lord is stronger than my weakness. What are you choosing to believe today?

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Me........in one word.....maybe more,,,,,,,

Kim had this on her blog awhile ago and tagged us. So I took on the huge arduous chore of trying to limit my answers to one word. Not an easy task, especially with #32!

Here are the rules :

  1. You can use only one word!
  2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers!
  3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
  4. Have fun!

So, here goes:

  1. Where is your cell phone? Purse
  2. Your hair? Brown
  3. Your mother? Here
  4. Your father? Heaven
  5. Your favorite food? Chocolate!
  6. Your dream last night? Forgot
  7. Your favorite drink? Diet pepsi
  8. Your dream/goal? Heaven
  9. What room are you in? Kitchen
  10. Your hobby? Reading/blogging
  11. Your fear? Spiders
  12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here
  13. Where were you last night? Home
  14. Something that you aren't? Teenager
  15. Muffins? Poppyseed
  16. Wish list item? Dunno.
  17. Where did you grow up? WA
  18. Last thing you did? Eat
  19. What are you wearing? Jeans
  20. Your TV? Old
  21. Your pets? Dogs
  22. Friends? Lots
  23. Your life? Blessed
  24. Your mood? Happy
  25. Missing someone? Daddy
  26. Vehicle? Car
  27. Something you're not wearing? Shoes
  28. Your favorite store? Costco
  29. Your favorite color? Red
  30. When was the last time you laughed? Today
  31. Last time you cried? Dunno!
  32. Your best friend? Jesus and then husband (sorry, to many words)
  33. One place that I go to over and over? Bathroom :0)
  34. One person who emails me regularly? Nobody
  35. Favorite place to eat? Spaghetti Factory
Wow, it's hard to answer a question in only one word! Clearly I failed, lol!

I am not going to choose anybody in particular to pass this on to. But take it if you want it!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

SPELLING BEA, SPELLING B, SPELLING BEE.....

Thank you for your prayers, sweet comments, emails and facebook messages. I am feeling better! Still have a cough (*hack, hack, cough*) but my asthma's doing much better.

So it came to my attention the other night, while I was on facebook, that I do not know how to spell

Massachusetts


Seriously, I had to look it up. In fact, does that spelling look right to you? Because it just doesn't look right, even though it is.

I know how to spell Mississippi. In fact, I love spelling Mississippi. Miss-iss-ippi. Isn't that fun? Spell it with me. Miss-iss-ippi. There, don't you feel better now?

Every time I get to the "ippi" part I feel as if I am talking about things pertaining to the bathroom and something that I accidentally did to myself.

Anybody need to use a restroom now?

I can spell Idaho. Easy. Oregon. Yup. New Hampshire - piece of cake. Pennsylvania - I got this! Connecticut is a tough one, but not if you spell "connect" and add "i cut" to it. Otherwise, forget it. Why is the "c" silent? Shouldn't it be Conneticut?

Which reminds me, why is Arkansas spelled Arkansas? Shouldn't it be Arkansaw? Shouldn't Massachusetts be Massachewsets? I just wish states would spell like they sound, sometimes.

I mean, after all, when you meet a state you just expect that they are what they appear to be. None of that sneaking in a silent letter stuff or spelling things crazy ways.

Suppose I told you that my name, Nan, was spelled Nrogjwoakroerrn? Suppose I told you that the rogjwokroerr letters were silent? Is that playing fair? I think not.

Please forgive me if I have criticized your favorite state. It's nothing personal. Don't get me started on cities though.........

"Criticized" is also a hard word to spell. It's that whole s/z thing.

Now, eye am gowing 2 qit riting abowt states n rite sumthang mor enteresteeng....jist az soon as eye figur owt whut that iz.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

I figured I'd better get the meme up for y'all. I have been sick so am not doing any blogging until I feel better. However, I will look forward to reading all of your posts. Have a great day!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!



Wednesday, January 13, 2010

SAVING CHILDHOOD MEMORIES IN A BOX

Kristen of We Are That Family is hosting Works-For-Me-Wednesday again!

Mommies are busy people. Mommies give so much of themselves to their children, their jobs (if they have one), their homes that they struggle to juggle it all. Sometimes, a mommy's worst fear (and guilt) is that sometimes she's so busy surviving the moments that she worries she'll forget to cherish the moments. Maybe she'll forget the moments altogether!

Last year I did a post about the childhood memory boxes that I keep for my children. You can read more about it here. They are just plastic lidded boxes in which I have put things over the years.

If you have a child you have paper. A lot of paper. Art masterpieces, drawings, school reports, notes, Valentines, chapter reviews, birthday cards, invitations, etc.

What do you do with all those art "treasures?" What do you do with that totally awesome "A" that your son received? What do you do with that "D" your daughter got on the history paper? You can't save everything but I really encourage you to save some things.

I enjoy looking through their memory boxes and my children do too. In fact, they get a kick out of looking at some of the stuff as many of it they don't even remember doing.


This was an early "masterpiece" created by my oldest son when he was around three or four years old.

We also saved homeschool papers. This was a poem that my oldest wrote and illustrated with a picture. It says "Going west was the best, seeing a mole in its hole. Oh what fun seeing the sun. In the wagon are you tagging? Wearing some pants I think I'll dance. Are you well? I think I'll tell. I'm glad I'm not there or I'll lose my hair!!"

I always kept lists for things and my oldest enjoyed it too, so he kept a diary of what he did that week. This says "Monday: McDonald's with Mommy. Tuesday: I had fun. Wednesday: Winnie The Pooh. Thursday: Played. Stayed. Friday: Friends. Saturday: Some friends came. The earthquake. Sunday: Shopping."

Note the Saturday post. There really was an earthquake that day and I think it's funny that's the only thing he said about it. Also notice that he didn't mention church on Sunday!

The Food Chain chart that my son did for science class. Notice it starts with people eating crow.

This one I kept because I was amazed at just how much diagramming my son could squeeze on one page. I mean really!

We also kept some excellent school papers (100%) and not so great papers (as in -23 wrong). A "D" or an "F" may not be funny now but in a few years a child can really appreciate the wrong answers and laugh when they read that 3 x 6 = 9 or 14 + 11 = 19.

This is my youngest son's art. I labeled the drawings because I knew we wouldn't remember what some of them were in a few years, less much a few months!

My youngest son writing about when he cut his finger. Note the spelling errors and how he says "we" cut his finger. He writes "Mom and I were cutting an apple, but we accidentally cut my finger so I had to go to the doctor to glue it back together."

I also kept "I'm sorry" notes such as this one. "Dear Mommy, I'm sorry I got mad and stomped my feet and made faces. I'm also sorry that I'm also sorry for saying that I hate you. Please forgive me. Love, ___ P.S. I love my life." I love the last sentence, lol!


Here's one that shows just how much my son got out of his Bible lesson from Acts. The questions are in bold and the italics are my son's answers.

Give a title to his "sermon:" God heals you.

What's his main point? God heals you.

What references does he make to the Old Testament: Lots of healing.

How would you outline his remarks? The dude got healed.

Nice, son!

Another thing I put in there were funny things that our children said. For example, when our oldest was five he said "Sometimes when dogs wave their hands it means they're nice."

Another time his dad was being silly and he said "Dad, you're breaking my leg." He was trying to say you're pulling my leg, obviously.

Here's another exchange. I told son #2 that I couldn't kiss him goodnight on the lips because I was sick (with a cold).

Son #2: "And you would throw up on me?"

Me: "No, I wouldn't throw up on you. I have a cold."

Son #2: "Are you allergic to pigs?"

My kids are a lot older now and I don't remember every thing they ever said or did when they were younger. But the dvds, the pictures and these memory boxes are precious moments that I can relive all over again! Please go here for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: WHEN CLUTTER WON'T HARMONIZE

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

How is your home? Is it under control? Is it awesome? Sometimes it amazes me how quickly things can fall apart around here. If I don't stay on top of things, we can have chaos in less than a day.

Well, what I would call chaos anyway. For example, I almost always clean my kitchen after every meal. I don't like walking in to a messy kitchen (if it's mine, I don't care if it's yours, lol!) and I especially don't like waking up to one. Well, look at the mess that is staring me in the face today and I only hope that you'll speak to me after seeing these pictures.....



This is what happens when you go to bed without putting things away, they multiply. There is some bread that my hubby bought at Costco, empty Target and Walmart plastic bags, a water bottle, pans, etc. Now, just how long would it take to put this stuff away? Five minutes? Yet here they sit.


More clutter. The crockpot that we carried today's potluck dinner in. The iron that I used to iron my clothes this morning. By the way, see the duct tape holding the iron together? I dropped and broke it the first day that I bought it. However, it still works so I see no reason to buy another!

The bacon box that I used to make quiche and for some reason never put it into the recycling.

The empty butter box that is waiting to be recycled. The brand new dog dish that of course is sitting on the counter, because clearly my toy poodle will have no trouble getting to it up there.



The huge stock pot that my hubby used to make chicken soup in. Not sure what those plastic containers were for, but probably used in making or straining the soup? The crockpot liner that needs to be washed after using it today. Hot pads that are still sitting there. Dandruff shampoo for goodness sake!!!! More stuff that I have no idea what it's doing there.

Note the used oatmeal packet to the right of the stockpot. Now, how much work would that be to throw away??? Guess what, that was MY oatmeal packet!!!! I have no idea why I didn't throw it away as it's pretty much a habit for me.


More soup stuff and dishes. We had to bring soup for a get together after church, and we were both gone most of yesterday so the dishes just didn't get done. Last night I was just to tired to do them after I got home. Another shampoo bottle. Have no idea what that's doing there either.



Dishes that are done and are waiting to be put away. I just am surprised that they haven't walked off and put themselves away. In fact, I wish they would.

Now, do you see how clutter breeds clutter? Remember the used oatmeal packet? When something is this messy it is so easy to just add one more thing. After all, it is already a mess so what's one more?

This is how chaos overtakes our homes. We just keep adding to it, one paper, one towel on the floor, one pile of messy laundry at a time. You think, well, the living room is already messy so what's the harm in leaving the newspaper all over?

The kitchen is already messy so why not leave this out just this once? The bedroom is a disaster and I'm to tired to hang up my clothes today so why not leave them out?

The best way to make my home sing this week is to start by cleaning up the kitchen! Then move on to the other rooms in the house. Fortunately, they aren't as bad as the kitchen but they do need some neatening.

I have been doing alot this weekend (including undecorating the church from Christmas and then decorating for a wedding reception). I have to babysit at a friend's house tonight, I have homeschooling tomorrow morning and a fellowship time with some friends tomorrow night, blah, blah, blah!

My point. I am busy. So are you. But I can't afford to make a practice of letting things go around here. Not if I want to make my home a place where we can relax, have fun, and yet be able to function. Clutter strikes a sour note in my singing home. A clean, orderly home makes me sing so I guess I'd better get busy!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

Friday, January 8, 2010

HAIR CAN BE A SCARY THING

My hair is not happening. That's because I did not blow it dry as usual but instead let it dry on its own. Please feel free to use your imagination.

Picture a flat brown thing on the top of my head.

That would be my hair.

Flat.

Lifeless.

Stubborn.

Not happening.

Now picture the ends of my hair all weird and curly with a life of their own.

Picture one big curl thing that sort of does its own thing, regardless of what I want it to do. It's alive, I tell ya. Alllliiiiive!

That would be what happened after I decided my hair was too flat and tried to "fix" things by using the curling iron.

Now picture me wondering why I decided to let my hair decide how I was going to wear it today.

Everyone knows you never let hair make up its own mind. You have to make its mind up for it.

You gotta be the boss.

Because if you don't, your hair might attack you.

Don't believe me? Look at your own risk.


Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

2010....SO FAR....

Sunday night I went to bed with high hopes and big plans for Monday.

Man, I was going to get back into the homeschooling mode, finish whipping the house into shape after the Christmas un-decorating, go to the library, clip the dog's nails, do laundry (it was laundry day, after all), and do several of the "key" items on my to-do list.

I was going to exercise and eat better and ignore the almond roca in the fridge and certainly not drink any diet pepsi or eat any Costco-670-calorie-poppy seed-muffins.

Monday morning rolled around and I could barely drag myself out of bed. I pushed that snooze button one to many times.

If you are on facebook with me, you may remember that I spent some time whining about not having any diet pepsi until my oldest took pity on me (or wanted to shut me up) and brought me one.....forever redeeming himself for all those middle of the night diaper changes and 2 a.m. drinks of water.

I think I avoided eating any almond roca for maybe 30 minutes after I woke up. I downed the muffin while I drank my diet pepsi. The only exercise I got was bending over to pick up a piece of almond roca that I dropped on the floor......do you really have to ask whether I ate it or not? Hel-lo, chocolate!!!!!

I did manage to throw some meat into the crockpot, but that was self-preservation. I didn't want to be scrambling for dinner at 5:00 p.m.

However, while making the rest of the dinner I managed to start a small fire, which I also mentioned on fb just in case you missed it.

Mostly, I sat around telling myself that there was always hope for Tuesday. Goodness, why is it so hard to get back into a home and homeschooling routine after being on vacation for two weeks?

So, now I am pinning the hopes of the civilized world onto today, Tuesday. Tuesday is the day that I will wash 15,000 loads of laundry, organize every closet and drawer in my home, cook a 25-course dinner, lose 20 pounds, decorate every room so that even Better Homes & Gardens magazine would drool, and homeschool my son so well that he will be able to get a job as a college professor at Harvard by lunchtime.

While I'm doing all that, you can pop over to the Five Mom's blog to see who the winner of December's giveaway is!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: HUSBAND BASHING

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

How safe is your husband's reputation with you? How safe are your childrens' reputations? When you are upset or annoyed, do you tell your friends the latest "stupid" thing that your husband did? Do you entertain your friends or co-workers with juicy details of your latest fight, relishing in the support and the justification that they give you?

Can you hardly wait to call and tell them what your husband did now? What your children did now? Do you feel an eagerness within your spirit to see them cast in a bad light so that you look better, or so that people realize what you "have to put up with?"

Prov. 31:11 & 12 says "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

He trusts in her. He knows that she will be a help to him, not hinder him. His heart is safe with her, his reputation is safe with her.

Can our husbands trust in us to use discretion? To be supportive and build them up, not tear them down in public as well as in private? Can our children trust that we won't make them look bad by sharing their most embarrassing or negative moments with our friends or on our blogs? Do we post things on our blogs about someone that we would never want that person to read? Do we use our blogs to blow off steam and air things that should be kept private?

If you're upset with your husband, does everybody know about it? If you're out and he annoys or irritates you, do you "have it out" right there, whether people are listening or not? Do you tell your husband's faults (or children's) to anyone who will listen? Do you involve your children in your arguments with your husband?

You only have to have a fight and look at your childrens' faces to see how they feel about it. It scares and confuses them. They cannot see the difference between a little "tiff" and a knock down drag out fight. To them, it's all the same.

Do you have trouble leaving your parents emotionally? Do you still call them and complain about your husband's words or actions?

Long after your anger is gone and you and hubby have "made up," the person you involved, whether it is your child or your parent or friend, is often still stewing about it. They don't have the closure that you've had, so they will often feel upset with your spouse, on your behalf, long after you've moved on.

There is a fine line here. Some women are in difficult or abusive marriages and they need support. I am not talking about this. I am talking about the habit of husband bashing and complaining, which I did my fair share of early in our marriage. I know that I blew many a situation out of proportion by inferring wrong motives on my husband, or putting words into his mouth that he didn't say.

Communicate your feelings to your husband, not someone else. Let it be over when it's over. Don't add fuel to the fire by picking up the phone and bringing it back up again.

When we are tempted to share our disagreements, perhaps we should ask ourselves what is our purpose in sharing? What do we hope to get out of it? Validation? Agreement that he is in the wrong? Pity? Justification? Support?

What was our part in the situation? How did we respond back? Were our actions fair? Supportive? Loving? Remember, we are responsible to the Lord for our own actions. Let me remind you that I write this for myself too. I need to hear this as much as the next person.

Set boundaries on what you'll share, both in person and on your blog. For example, I always ask my husband and childrens' permission before I share things about them on my blog, and I ask my husband to read every post that he's mentioned in, including this one. Setting boundaries is one way I'll make my home sing this week!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!